Million Dollar Kenny
by phantomzombie
Summary: Kenny's family win the lottery. Cartman, jealous of Kenny's victory, attempts to steal the money for himself.
1. Chapter 1

**South Park Elementary- Day. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny arrive; Stan, Kyle and Cartman are wearing green, but Kenny is wearing his orange parka.**

**Stan: **Kenny, why aren't you wearing green? You know on St. Patrick's Day, you're supposed to wear green.

**Kenny: **(Have you forgotten? I'm poor! I can't buy any new clothes).

**Stan: **Oh, yeah.

**Kyle: **C'mon Ken, how bad can it be?

**The boys open the door, and freeze; everyone is wearing green.**

**Kenny: **(Uh, hi?)

**Everyone freezes and looks at Kenny.**

**Cartman: (Whispers) **You'd better run, Kinny.

**Red:** Kenny's not wearing green. Let's pinch him!

**Students: **Yeah!

**They run at Kenny; Stan, Kyle and Cartman leave him.**

**Stan: **Sorry Ken. You're on your own.

**Kenny closes his eyes, wanting the day to be over.**

* * *

**Int. McCormick Residence- Later that day. Carol is watching TV and smoking Tegridy-brand Marijuana when Kenny walks in, his arms feeling very limp.**

**Carol: **Hey Kenny, how was your day?

**Kenny takes down his hood.**

**Kenny: **Horrible Mom! Everyone was wearing green! And I've been pinched in the arms all fucking day! This wouldn't have happened if we had any money at all!

**Carol:** Don't blame me son! Your deadbeat father spends it all on alcohol! That's why we can't pay any bills.

**Stuart: (Offscreen) **Don't pin the blame on me, you deadbeat slut!

**Carol:** Don't deadbeat slut me, man-whore!

**Kevin enters.**

**Kevin: **Mom! Dad! Shut the Fuck Up!

**Kenny leaves.**

* * *

**Kenny's Room. Kenny opens the door and enters. He takes off his parka and looks up at the ceiling.**

**Kenny: (Sighs) **Why do I have to be so poor?

**Music starts. Kenny starts singing.**

**Kenny:  
**_Why does my life have to suck?  
When will everyone give a fuck?_

_I wonder when things will look good through  
I want cash too_

**(He looks in his mirror, and sees himself surrounded by wads of money)**

_Dad's made my life full of crap  
And the only thing on me is sap_

_Why don't anyone take the hint  
I want cash too_

_Please find a way  
_

_To bring my family from the fray._

_To give us hope and  
pay off our bills and budget_

**(Scene fades to him back in his bed)**

_I know I worked at City Wok  
But my payments, they were block_

_Why can't no-one take a hint_

_I want... cash... too?_

**(The song ends, and Kenny goes to sleep)**

**End of Act 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**McCormick Residence- The Next Morning. Kenny wakes up, gets dressed and enters the kitchen, to see Stuart and Carol fighting.**

**Carol: **You used the last of our money on lottery tickets?!

**Stuart: **Carol, please! It could save us from being broke!

**Carol: **We ARE broke, because of you!

**Kenny: **(Mom, Dad. I have a job you know)

**Stuart: **Shut Up, Son! **(To Carol) **Look, just find a coin and scratch. If we're lucky, we could be rich.

**Carol: **Alright Stuart. Everyone! Get a coin and start scratching!

**A Montage Begins- The entire McCormick family are scratching the tickets, hoping for the grand prize. After 30 minutes of scratching, Karen begins to feel exhausted. She falls onto the floor and falls asleep.**

**30 More Minutes Later-**

**Kevin: **Guys!

**Stuart:** What?!

**Kevin: **Look at this.

**Karen wakes up. Kevin shows them the lottery ticket he's holding.**

**Kenny: **(Five Million Dollars?)

**Kevin:** For real?

**The family start celebrating, as Stuart leaves with the ticket.**

**South Park Mall- Stuart is at the lottery stand.**

**Stuart: **I'd like to cash this in.

**Clerk: **Of course, Mr. McCormick. We'll send it to your house straight away.

**Later that night:**

**The McCormicks find themselves surrounded by the news team.**

**Carol: **Listen, I swear we haven't had any Pabst Blue Ribbon.

**Reporter: **How did you become super wealthy?

**Stuart: **Well, uh-

**Reporter #2: **How does it feel to go from the poorest family in town, to one of the wealthiest?

**Carol: **Pretty good, actually.

**Black Residence: Token is in his room, watching the story on his TV.**

**Token: **Kenny's family is rich now? I gotta tell everyone.

**Token picks up his phone. Music begins.**

**Token (Singing):  
**_Hi, Butters._**  
**

**Butter (Singing back):  
**_Hi Token,_

_What's the story?_

_Morning glory._

_What's the word?_

_Hummingbird._

**Token:  
**_Have you heard Kenny McCormick is rich?_

**Nichole (Singing):  
**_Hi, Heidi._

**Heidi (Singing):  
**_Hi, Nichole._

_What's the chatter?_

_Of the matter?_

_What's the tale?_

_Nightingale._

**Nichole:  
**_Have you heard Kenny McCormick is rich?_**  
**

**Wendy, Bebe, Red and Lola (Singing):**

_Will he still eat waffles?_

_Maybe now Falafels?_

_Will he get new attire?_

_And not catch on fire?_

**Tweek:**

_Hello Craig Tucker, it's your best friend Twe-eek._

_Now that Kenny's rich,  
_

_his future no longer looks bleak._

**All:**

_He a million  
_

_million_

_millionaire_

_He a million_

_million_

_million_

_Kenny is rich._

**Song Ends**

**End of Act 2**


End file.
